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Update: You’re Still Being Taken for a Ride

November 25, 2015

So a Japanese game that no one cared about from a series that was never very good isn’t getting an English localization. This probably has something to do with it being on two consoles, one of which is notoriously flopping in the west. Or maybe to do with the fact that the localization of the last game in the same series sold terribly and didn’t even top one-million sold copies.

Or, if you’re Play-Asia, a website that specializes in selling game imports, you can blame Koei Tecmo’s decision on some shadowy cabal of ‘SJWs’ for the localization’s cancellation. And they did, on their official twitter account. But fear not, lovers of gratuitously jiggling anime titties, Play-Asia will happily sell you an imported copy of the Japanese release of the game. How convenient for them.

Maturity

This obviously appealed the types of people on the internet. Namely those conservative types who will happily lap up anything said to them in such a way that implies some kind of ‘SJW’ involvement. SJW, by the way, has become an excellent dogwhistle for anyone that doesn’t find the status quo of the 1940’s to be the ideal.

Oh, and by-the-by, this game is Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball 3. Which, for the uninformed, is a spin-off title of the Dead or Alive fighting game series where the game’s characters play volleyball in tiny string bikinis.

Anyway, Play-Asia’s fancy new marketing scheme seems to be working, as those parts of the internet where video games and conservatism intersect have been blowing up over this whole ordeal. Much like with Hatred, a mediocre game has once again seen a massive burst of popularity because some bright spark in a marketing department somewhere has realized that telling reactionary young men that someone doesn’t want them to have something is the best way to get them to buy it. If anything, this has taught me that I seriously need to consider getting out of my current field and start marketing anime titty games.

So let’s get this straight: A publisher whose games haven’t been popular in the west for a while decides that they don’t want to make a localization of a game for a console that so far also has not been very popular in the region. They cite the (rather reasonable) reason to be that the west (especially North America) has different standards than Japan when it comes to what is acceptable in the representation of women. There’s a good chance that this is true, and there’s a good chance that this is instead just some bullshit made up to wave away the fact that the publisher doesn’t find the idea of an English localization to be financially viable. Most likely, it’s a combination of both.

And then, some very bright spark at a game import company decided to play up the ‘representation of women’ aspect and spin out some story about how Koei Tecmo’s decision was somehow caused by some imaginary feminist outrage. And then thousands of people bought that story. And then Play-Asia can now boast a ton of new customers, and, probably, a lot of money in the near future. Honestly brilliant.

This whole thing just highlights a huge problem with the gaming community as it stands. Gamers are all so prepared to be outraged over anything that comes along that challenges our worldview that we’ll throw a collective fit whenever some marketing exec tells us to. Remember when EA staged a fake Christian protest outside of their own headquarters to rep Dante’s Inferno? Same thing. We’ve all been trained to believe that the best way to support our own beliefs is to throw money at the first people who tell us that they share them. A movement that boasted for months about how they were all about journalistic ethics hooked up with Breitbart for fucks sake.

These shady selling tactics are going to keep working as long as consumers let them. We need to wake up and realize that the companies that sell us games aren’t actually our friends. They’re entities that exist solely to make money and they’ll say anything to do that. Sure, they’re run by people, all with their own sets of beliefs, but at the end of the day they still have a job to do, and that job is to sell you shit. And they’ll say anything legal to do it.

Oh, and someone probably got paid to write this incest joke.

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I can’t fucking believe this is what people choose to spend their time on.